V-Day
Always makes me think of veneral disease. Feels like one. Like a festering sore oozing hallmark sentiments like pus with red hearts flowing and stickily crusting down the legs of everyone flying around to prove their commercial empty-headed scared to be alone and find out who you really are love. And what about those pesticide laden flowers? How many workers in South America lived a shortened life span, ridiculed with cancers, children watching them die so they could have some food to eat and you could get your $200 roses to prove how much you care?
I was speaking with a friend last night who remembers coming to my house for a party, I must have been 14, 15 or 16, and everything was pink and/or covered in red hearts. Even the toilet paper. Must have been to wipe away all the red hearts coming out of our asses. Oh how colourful my life was then.
Happy b-day to me.
30 Things to do between the time I am 29 and 12 months and 29 and 24 months (to be updated).
1. Get rid of at least 50% of my crap.
2. Get a calendar and write down everyone's birthdays on it and remember to contact them on those days.
3. Do the splits.
4. Scuba diving.
5. Get a pedicure (and you all now how I feel about getting my feet touched).
6. Get laser hair removal (oh how I hate shaving).
7. Swim in a warm ocean again.
8. Not die during a heroin overdose whilst bungee jumping.
9. Paint my bedroom using milk paint.
10. Have an orange bathroom.
11. Help my grandmother move into a retirement apartment.
12. Train my dog and myself to have her come when called when off the leash.
13. Learn a few chords on the guitar.
14. Become fluent in Spanish.
15. Learn to purl.
16. Get my Kinesionics certificate.
17. Live in a tent for a summer.
18. Grow my hair past my shoulder blades.
19. Gain 10 pounds.
20. Be able to consistently do a handstand.
21. Um, I need 30, suggestions please (but I am so much closer)!
I was speaking with a friend last night who remembers coming to my house for a party, I must have been 14, 15 or 16, and everything was pink and/or covered in red hearts. Even the toilet paper. Must have been to wipe away all the red hearts coming out of our asses. Oh how colourful my life was then.
Happy b-day to me.
30 Things to do between the time I am 29 and 12 months and 29 and 24 months (to be updated).
1. Get rid of at least 50% of my crap.
2. Get a calendar and write down everyone's birthdays on it and remember to contact them on those days.
3. Do the splits.
4. Scuba diving.
5. Get a pedicure (and you all now how I feel about getting my feet touched).
6. Get laser hair removal (oh how I hate shaving).
7. Swim in a warm ocean again.
8. Not die during a heroin overdose whilst bungee jumping.
9. Paint my bedroom using milk paint.
10. Have an orange bathroom.
11. Help my grandmother move into a retirement apartment.
12. Train my dog and myself to have her come when called when off the leash.
13. Learn a few chords on the guitar.
14. Become fluent in Spanish.
15. Learn to purl.
16. Get my Kinesionics certificate.
17. Live in a tent for a summer.
18. Grow my hair past my shoulder blades.
19. Gain 10 pounds.
20. Be able to consistently do a handstand.
21. Um, I need 30, suggestions please (but I am so much closer)!
posted by Muss at 3:47 pm
3 Comments:
I think that was more acidic than slightly :)
Sometimes that is allowed.
For New Year's resolutions, I always go for things like:
"This year, I resolve not to die of a heroin overdose whilst bungee jumping."
They've worked brilliantly so far - I'd go for 24 of those to make up the thirty, if I was you.
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