Today
Today I am wearing an antique shirt. I don't like to say vintage because that implies I'm being trendy, and I don't feel I am. This shirt used to belong to my aunt, and she hasn't worn it since before she became pregnant. This may mean before she became pregnant with my older cousin, which would make the shirt over 34 years old, or before she became pregnant with my younger cousin, which would make the shirt about 31 years old. It is made of cotton eyelet and gossamer thin. Underneath it I am wearing a light pink tank top, which can be seen through the shirt and makes me look healthy. I am also wearing burgundy shoes and my toes are probably pink, although I have not looked. This morning I tip-toed around the yard before leaving for work, causing the tips of my shoes to become wet.
Today I took my car into get an oil change and a tire alignment, both of which were sorely needed. The tire alignment I have put off for about 5000 km, and the oil change for about 1000 km. I probably would have put them off for longer but last time I filled my car up I checked the oil and noticed it was low. Instead of putting oil in I told myself to go and finally get the needed work done. I chose a place close to my work that said I could drop it off on the way and they would drive me (until they saw my dog) and that were very friendly on the phone. I didn't ask for quotes so I hope it won't be too expensive. If it is, I will phone my not-boyfriend on the phone and make him ask them why they are charging me, his not-girlfriend, so much for simple work.
Today I am eating cold boiled potatoes and peas for lunch, sprinkled with salt and dotted with sour cream. I was wanting to make mashed potatoes fried in butter with onions and garlic and peas for lunch today, so they would have that lovely crispy brown crust on them, but they don't have a potato masher at the house where I am and since they were sitting in the kitchen discussing house buying plans with a realtor, I didn't want to make a big fuss.
Today I am working in the office by myself. The big boss has meetings all day and the accountant takes his day off on Tuesday. The accountant would probably have a fit if he knew this. He might have even come in on his day off. The accountant thinks I cannot function because I do not possess a penis between my legs. I would like to see him try to handle the things that come through me though, penis or no penis. He has no idea what goes on here or how to handle things. He also, although in a manager-like position, is not a manager of the place. He is below the ranking of managers and is actually just about in the equivalent position as me. I wonder how it would make his penis feel to know that.
Today is a very nice day.
Today I took my car into get an oil change and a tire alignment, both of which were sorely needed. The tire alignment I have put off for about 5000 km, and the oil change for about 1000 km. I probably would have put them off for longer but last time I filled my car up I checked the oil and noticed it was low. Instead of putting oil in I told myself to go and finally get the needed work done. I chose a place close to my work that said I could drop it off on the way and they would drive me (until they saw my dog) and that were very friendly on the phone. I didn't ask for quotes so I hope it won't be too expensive. If it is, I will phone my not-boyfriend on the phone and make him ask them why they are charging me, his not-girlfriend, so much for simple work.
Today I am eating cold boiled potatoes and peas for lunch, sprinkled with salt and dotted with sour cream. I was wanting to make mashed potatoes fried in butter with onions and garlic and peas for lunch today, so they would have that lovely crispy brown crust on them, but they don't have a potato masher at the house where I am and since they were sitting in the kitchen discussing house buying plans with a realtor, I didn't want to make a big fuss.
Today I am working in the office by myself. The big boss has meetings all day and the accountant takes his day off on Tuesday. The accountant would probably have a fit if he knew this. He might have even come in on his day off. The accountant thinks I cannot function because I do not possess a penis between my legs. I would like to see him try to handle the things that come through me though, penis or no penis. He has no idea what goes on here or how to handle things. He also, although in a manager-like position, is not a manager of the place. He is below the ranking of managers and is actually just about in the equivalent position as me. I wonder how it would make his penis feel to know that.
Today is a very nice day.
posted by Muss at 1:48 pm
2 Comments:
Penises aren't particularly useful pieces of office equipment, it has to be said. Sometimes useful for watering plants, however.
Perhaps I should look for a penis watering can then?
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