Sometimes

I think I am just in a job. Sometimes I think I am just in a place. Sometimes I think I just have to work and the sooner I am done the better and I can leave.

Then something comes around and real people show up in my life with real things that are so hard that I have to sit back on my heels and wail as loudly as I can, just to try and get the feelings to diminish enough so that I can think about them. Life is a wheel and just how much so becomes apparent to me with startling clarity every once in a while. I don't even know what I would do if this really was my life when I am so thoroughly rocked when it isn't even me.

Rocked. Floored. Emptied. Crushed.