Once a Love
Once upon a time I loved and was loved so completely and intensely. I had never known anything like it. We were each others night and day and breathed each other's air. The only way we could sleep was wrapped up completely around each other.
I never thought it would change. I thought I could do anything and he would be there for me.
But, upon returning to the real world, I continued to think this way and he did change. He left me and I was broken. I couldn't believe it, that he would just let go like that, and so, when he returned, I thought he was returning to sanity and me, not escaping other routes. And so he left me again, and again returned when things were not going his way. Again, I believed he was returning to our sanity, our sanctuary and a muted bliss had been re-boughten. I did not realize what he had done in the meantime. He then asked me to do something for him one day, such a little thing, that I did it, and was opened up to my new reality. One of nothing. One of lies. He procliamed he had never loved me and never would, since he knew the love of someone else. Someone who would not talk to him or touch him or admit his existence. I could not believe he would choose a life being a shadow instead our love. I went to the window to jump.
Knowing his infatuation would never be realized, he kept toying with my emotions and reeling me in and out. Finally, after one time, I told him it was the last time, and I would not go back to him anymore. He said that he understood and that is how it should be anyway.
A little while later I met somebody else who was so much more like me and I started to let myself fall in love with him. When it was apparent I was not to be reeled in anymore, he became distraught. He tried to be who he was when we were night and day. He gave up all thoughts of the infatuation and admitted the love we had was the only love he had ever known and he would do anything to bring it back. At times, he found himself at the window. But I was too far gone. I did not easily forget all the pain and anguish he had brought me. I tried to help him through this and by doing so I poisoned my new love. He swore eternal devotion to me but his devotion only lasted until he got a new prize, one that fit more smoothly into his life.
I know this love. I know it was complete. I know it is out there now. I do not know how to find it again.
I never thought it would change. I thought I could do anything and he would be there for me.
But, upon returning to the real world, I continued to think this way and he did change. He left me and I was broken. I couldn't believe it, that he would just let go like that, and so, when he returned, I thought he was returning to sanity and me, not escaping other routes. And so he left me again, and again returned when things were not going his way. Again, I believed he was returning to our sanity, our sanctuary and a muted bliss had been re-boughten. I did not realize what he had done in the meantime. He then asked me to do something for him one day, such a little thing, that I did it, and was opened up to my new reality. One of nothing. One of lies. He procliamed he had never loved me and never would, since he knew the love of someone else. Someone who would not talk to him or touch him or admit his existence. I could not believe he would choose a life being a shadow instead our love. I went to the window to jump.
Knowing his infatuation would never be realized, he kept toying with my emotions and reeling me in and out. Finally, after one time, I told him it was the last time, and I would not go back to him anymore. He said that he understood and that is how it should be anyway.
A little while later I met somebody else who was so much more like me and I started to let myself fall in love with him. When it was apparent I was not to be reeled in anymore, he became distraught. He tried to be who he was when we were night and day. He gave up all thoughts of the infatuation and admitted the love we had was the only love he had ever known and he would do anything to bring it back. At times, he found himself at the window. But I was too far gone. I did not easily forget all the pain and anguish he had brought me. I tried to help him through this and by doing so I poisoned my new love. He swore eternal devotion to me but his devotion only lasted until he got a new prize, one that fit more smoothly into his life.
I know this love. I know it was complete. I know it is out there now. I do not know how to find it again.
posted by Muss at 1:56 pm
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