ENOUGH WITH THE ANGST!
Today, for a change (ha ha HA ha), my dog was a spazz and she ate a beer can. What?!?! I have beer cans in and around my house??? I do! But it wasn't mine (I swear, especially as I am not supposed to drink alcohol for fear of the interactions between it and other things). So ... what to do? She ate a thin aluminum can. You know, the kind that can cut up and shred the delicate intestine and stomach tissues. If I had money, I would take her to the vet for x-rays and probably surgical removal. Instead, I have to wait and see what will happen, knowing that if it punctures her bowels she will probably die.
Me? What did I do? Well, well, glad you asked! I decided to rip my perineum. Did I have a child today (as that is the only previous way I had heard for a women to rip the perimeum)? No! Of course not. I was sitting on the floor and turned in an awkward fashion to look at a spot of ink that someone had got on one of the chairs at the F*erware party and then all of a sudden their was a painful burning and a ripping feeling and a scream of pain from me. My roommate asked me what I did and I said, "I think I ripped my perineum" and sure enough when I went and checked, I had indeed ripped my perineum. (How many times do you think I can write 'ripped my perineum' before the end of this paragraph? At least one more time I am sure). So that is what I did today, ripped my perineum.
Also, I think I am not cut out to be a server in a bar.
Me? What did I do? Well, well, glad you asked! I decided to rip my perineum. Did I have a child today (as that is the only previous way I had heard for a women to rip the perimeum)? No! Of course not. I was sitting on the floor and turned in an awkward fashion to look at a spot of ink that someone had got on one of the chairs at the F*erware party and then all of a sudden their was a painful burning and a ripping feeling and a scream of pain from me. My roommate asked me what I did and I said, "I think I ripped my perineum" and sure enough when I went and checked, I had indeed ripped my perineum. (How many times do you think I can write 'ripped my perineum' before the end of this paragraph? At least one more time I am sure). So that is what I did today, ripped my perineum.
Also, I think I am not cut out to be a server in a bar.
posted by Muss at 9:31 pm
2 Comments:
Holy shit.
What ever happened with your perineum?? I, too, was under the impression that one could only rip one's perineum by giving birth (if even that), but mine managed to become damaged by simply.... (!) having not-very-rough sex a few nights ago. (Since then I've been very scared and have been googling all sorts of phrases like "perineum tore" and "ripped my perineum", which is how I found your blog.)
Do get back to me on this if you have time.
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