Seldom
Warm, wet, and salty on her body or arms
They like me! They really like me! I have no idea why. They have asked me to extend how long I will stay at work by a week, and now are scheming to see how I can stay. "What if we built your dog a kennel here!" uh, okay, but I still need a new place to live with a yard, "We'll ask around, see what we can do!" uh, okay, but it needs to be affordable since you pay me A PITTANCE. "You will make lots of money in the summer, there are lots of opportunities" uh, okay, but I never did want to work 7 days a week just to be able to live. "We know you have a teaching job in September, but it is just so busy in the summer." uh, okay, but I only know about 1/3 of the job right now. Seriously, I only do about 1/3 of the job, if that, there is only a 3 more days until the other leaves and I have to learn billing and month end. They just fired the accountant, so I will be picking up some slack there too.
But they like me.
My roommate says I look professional. I think I just about got asked on 'a date' today. He presented himself at my workplace when he really had no reason to be there, all shiny and clean. I avoided it a bit by keeping working and being busy, but really I was working and busy because it was a little hectic today after this holiday weekend. Then I turned the subject around by commenting on the attractiveness and availability of another woman, which he agreed with. Then he left. Intimidating. I guess I am that too.
On the other hand, I have just lost (o the anguish, o the horror) a friend. A friend of 10 years. A friend of over 10 years. Because I wouldn't sleep with him. I can't believe how angry this makes me. Had I given in and slept with him, and tried to ignore advances and then given in and performed some kind of sexual act with resentment and faking some feeling so he would feel good we would still be friends but because I am honest and know who and what I want (and it wasn't him) then I am not worthy to be talked to. I have hurt his pride. I have hurt his feelings. I am so pissed at the thought that the whole friendship was based on that he thought he could have me whenever he wanted. He was friends with my parents too, and when they ask how he is and I tell them I don't know because he isn't speaking to me anymore and tell them why, they will be shocked. I still spoke to him after he decided to stop speaking to me for a month and probably sleep with someone else when he was only supposed to be with me. Why would I? At this point, I would have to say, I have no idea, but then I would say because of the circumstances and the 10 year friendship. But apparently, not getting off is a reason to end the friendship so I wish I had ended it with that instead.
o anger.
o ire
They like me! They really like me! I have no idea why. They have asked me to extend how long I will stay at work by a week, and now are scheming to see how I can stay. "What if we built your dog a kennel here!" uh, okay, but I still need a new place to live with a yard, "We'll ask around, see what we can do!" uh, okay, but it needs to be affordable since you pay me A PITTANCE. "You will make lots of money in the summer, there are lots of opportunities" uh, okay, but I never did want to work 7 days a week just to be able to live. "We know you have a teaching job in September, but it is just so busy in the summer." uh, okay, but I only know about 1/3 of the job right now. Seriously, I only do about 1/3 of the job, if that, there is only a 3 more days until the other leaves and I have to learn billing and month end. They just fired the accountant, so I will be picking up some slack there too.
But they like me.
My roommate says I look professional. I think I just about got asked on 'a date' today. He presented himself at my workplace when he really had no reason to be there, all shiny and clean. I avoided it a bit by keeping working and being busy, but really I was working and busy because it was a little hectic today after this holiday weekend. Then I turned the subject around by commenting on the attractiveness and availability of another woman, which he agreed with. Then he left. Intimidating. I guess I am that too.
On the other hand, I have just lost (o the anguish, o the horror) a friend. A friend of 10 years. A friend of over 10 years. Because I wouldn't sleep with him. I can't believe how angry this makes me. Had I given in and slept with him, and tried to ignore advances and then given in and performed some kind of sexual act with resentment and faking some feeling so he would feel good we would still be friends but because I am honest and know who and what I want (and it wasn't him) then I am not worthy to be talked to. I have hurt his pride. I have hurt his feelings. I am so pissed at the thought that the whole friendship was based on that he thought he could have me whenever he wanted. He was friends with my parents too, and when they ask how he is and I tell them I don't know because he isn't speaking to me anymore and tell them why, they will be shocked. I still spoke to him after he decided to stop speaking to me for a month and probably sleep with someone else when he was only supposed to be with me. Why would I? At this point, I would have to say, I have no idea, but then I would say because of the circumstances and the 10 year friendship. But apparently, not getting off is a reason to end the friendship so I wish I had ended it with that instead.
o anger.
o ire
posted by Muss at 8:11 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home