The Big C Grill
"What? ... What's this? ... Feel this."
"Huh."
"What do you think that is? ... Do you think it's a lump?"
"I don't know."
"It feels like it could be ... a lump?"
"Maybe."
"What the hell? A lump?"
"Maybe you should go and see a doctor."
"So I found a lump ..."
"Take yoru shirt off and put on this gown, open at the front. I'll be back in a minute."
"Okay."
...
"Where is it?"
"Right here."
"At your age it's probably a ccyst. Cysts are quite common. They're filled with fluid. I'll get the secretary to make an appointment for you at the ultra-sound clinic. They'll do a scan and find it. Then insert a needle and drain it right there."
"A cyst?"
"Phone tomorrow and the receptionist will tell you when the appointment is."
"Thank you."
"He thinks it's a cyst."
"Is that bad?"
"No, a cyst is just filled with fluid. It just needs to be drained. I go in to get an ultasound in a week in a half. They'll drain it right there."
"So the doctor thinks this lump is a cyst."
"Well that's good."
"Yeah, ... I go in for an ultrasound in a week. They'll drain it there."
"Hm."
"Lay on the table. I'll just move the gown aside ... The gel is a little cold ... there ... just relax"
...
...
...!
Tension. Apprehension.
"You need to make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible."
"So it isn't a cyst."
"It isn't! You said it was."
"I said the doctor said it probably was."
"How do you know then, did you go to the doctor again?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"They didn't drain it. He said they would drain it."
"Maybe it's something else."
"You think? It's a lump. It's not a cyst. I have a lump."
"Well, this lump, it is not fluid filled. It's solid."
"Solid ..."
"It doesn't mean it's malignant. Most lumps are benign."
"Malignant?"
"No, it's most likely benign. You're young. You're healthy. Sometimes people just develop lumps. I would like you to see a surgeon though."
"Oh."
"The surgeon will want a biopsy done before he decides what to do next."
"Next?"
"Well, if it's benign, he will have to decide if it needs to stay or go."
"If it's benign."
"It's most likely benign."
"I asked you both to meet with me because I have to tell you something. I have a lump in my breast and they don't know if it is benign or malignant. I might have to take some time off work for appointments and ... I don't know."
"Take whatever you need."
"Let us know if you need anything."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, ... I'm okay. I think I'm a little scared. I think this is the first time it has really hit me."
"It's scary. My wife had a lump and had to have part of her breast removed, but it's okay. She's okay now."
"If you need to talk, I'm there."
"Okay, thanks."
"Did you know that they can tell 90% of the time whether a lump is benign or malignant in an ultrasound?"
"What does that mean?"
"That means it might be in the 10% of the time they can't tell or ... well, you know ..."
"Oh ... when will you know?"
"I go to the surgeon in two weeks."
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
"What? No ..."
"You haven't talked to me in days."
"Uh, ..."
"You know, you aren't in high school anymore. If you don't want to be with me, just say so."
"Uh , .. well, you know ..."
"I'm so happy to be finally graduating. What's new with you?"
"I have a lump in my breast. They don't know if it's benign or malignant. I have to get a biopsy."
"What?"
"Yeah, not looking too good."
"Jeez, if it can happen to you, it can happen to anyone. You're so healthy."
"First I will talk to you and tell you what is likely to happen. Then I will examine you. With the results I have gotten so far I think the best thing to do is get a biopsy done. This will tell us more about what it is. At this stage we cannot say whether it is benign or malignant but there is a good chance it is still benign."
"Oh."
"Please go into the other room and take off your shirt. You can wear the paper gown, please, open at the front."
...
"Where is the lump?"
"Other breast ..."
"Can you find it first?"
"Okay ... here."
"Hmmm ... okay. You can get dressed. My receptionist will phone you with the biopsy appointment. Please make sure she has the correct phone number and an alternative one."
"Okay. Thank you."
"I have to get a biopsy done. The appointment is in about a month."
"A month! What the hell? Don't they have anything a little sooner? You'd kind of think that this is important."
"No. That's the soonest .. can you go with me? They have to give me an anesthetic and I'm not supposed to drive after ... I guess that means bikes too."
"Of course .. well, we'll see. I can or my sister will. One of us for sure."
"Okay thanks."
(really loud yelling meaning I'm really tired of you walking around the house ignoring my yelling at you which turns into ...)
"It's only cancer! Get over it!"
"Thank you for coming to take me to my appointment. I'll just go brush my teeth. I'll be right down."
"You must be her friend ..."
(gagging upstairs)
"I'll be so glad when she's gone. It will be such a relief."
"Uh ..."
"Thanks for waiting. I'm ready to go."
"Uh, .. your roommate is kind of a bitch."
"Hi. I have an appointment for a biopsy at 2:00"
"Your name and care card."
"Here."
...
"You're not scheduled."
"What? Yes I am. July 4 at 2:00"
"No. I don't have you down."
"There must be some mistake ..."
"Oh I see, your appointment was on July 2 at 4:00."
"No."
"Yes. I have it here."
"Oh crap. I'm sorry. Do you have anything else available?"
"No. We are solidly booked."
"What about cancellations?"
"Nope. Besides, we are running a bit behind today so I can't fit you in."
"When is your next available appointment?"
"July 27, 2:30"
"Oh ..."
"Nothing sooner, not even if someone cancels?"
"No, we don't have a waiting list."
"Okay, I'll take that spot. I'm sorry I missed my last one."
"Do you need an appointment card?"
"It's okay ..."
"No, it's not okay. How fucking stupid of me. I'm such an idiot! Thanks for the ride though."
"It was just a mistake."
"But about something like this! I want to know. This is draggin out so long. I don't know what to do. If I just knew one way or the other ... isn't that your car with the tow truck there?"
"Shit!"
"It was nice talking to you. We haven't talked in so long."
"I know ..."
"Well, .."
"I have something to tell you."
"What?"
"I, uh, ... I ... have a lump."
"You do? Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I was working up to it."
"Have you been to a doctor?"
"Yes."
"Did you really?"
"Yes I did. He thought it was a cyst but the ultrasound lady didn't drain it and freaked out."
"Are you getting a biopsy done?"
"Yeah, I went to a surgeon and he scheduled me for one and I missed the appointment ..."
"What?"
"It was an accident ... not on purpose, I'm re-scheduled .."
"I'll get you an appointment at my clinic for another ultrasound. We have better technicians and equipment. You might not need the biopsy."
"Okay. Thanks."
"Let's have a look then ..."
20 minutes.
"I want to move you to a different machine with better resolution ..."
20 minutes.
"Just wait, I want to get the radiologist in here to look at it ..."
20 minutes
"It has a characteristic shape. You need to get a biopsy done."
"... I'm holding on the 10% chance it is still benign, but the last ultrasound scared the hell out of me ..."
"I'm here for a biopsy appointment."
"Great. Go sit over there and we'll call you when we're ready. Get your gown on open at the front."
...
"Okay, I'm going to anethesize the area so you'll feel the needle going in."
Needle. Scraping. Squelching. Rubbing. Probing. Pain. Noise. Sucking. Invasion.
"You can go get dressed. Don't drive yourself home."
"I went for the biopsy."
"And ..."
"Why didn't you tell me how awful it was going to be!"
"I know. I'm sorry. But I knew you wouldn't go if I told you."
"I find out in 3 days. I have to decide if I'm going to quit my job or go back to school. If I'm going back to school the last day I can give my notice is in 4 days."
"What are you going to do?"
"Depends on what I find out from the surgeon. If I need the medical coverage I guess I won't go back to school."
"I've got the biopsy report."
"You do?"
"It says ..."
"What does that mean?"
"It's iffy. I'd wait to hear what the surgeon haas to say. When is your appointment?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'll fax this to you. Do you have a confidential fax number at your office?"
"Yes ..."
"I had to phone the pathologist to get him to explain these results. On the report it says there are a quantity of atypical cells, so I wanted to make sure."
"Oh ..."
"He said it is most typically fibroid adenoma. It is normal to have some cells showing degenerative change."
"Okay ...."
"This is good. You don't need to have the lump exised. You should keep an eye on it though."
"Oh my God. Good. Thank you."
"I have good news. I don't have cancer. I do have my written resignation though. I am quitting to go back to school."
"Huh."
"What do you think that is? ... Do you think it's a lump?"
"I don't know."
"It feels like it could be ... a lump?"
"Maybe."
"What the hell? A lump?"
"Maybe you should go and see a doctor."
"So I found a lump ..."
"Take yoru shirt off and put on this gown, open at the front. I'll be back in a minute."
"Okay."
...
"Where is it?"
"Right here."
"At your age it's probably a ccyst. Cysts are quite common. They're filled with fluid. I'll get the secretary to make an appointment for you at the ultra-sound clinic. They'll do a scan and find it. Then insert a needle and drain it right there."
"A cyst?"
"Phone tomorrow and the receptionist will tell you when the appointment is."
"Thank you."
"He thinks it's a cyst."
"Is that bad?"
"No, a cyst is just filled with fluid. It just needs to be drained. I go in to get an ultasound in a week in a half. They'll drain it right there."
"So the doctor thinks this lump is a cyst."
"Well that's good."
"Yeah, ... I go in for an ultrasound in a week. They'll drain it there."
"Hm."
"Lay on the table. I'll just move the gown aside ... The gel is a little cold ... there ... just relax"
...
...
...!
Tension. Apprehension.
"You need to make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible."
"So it isn't a cyst."
"It isn't! You said it was."
"I said the doctor said it probably was."
"How do you know then, did you go to the doctor again?"
"No."
"Then how do you know?"
"They didn't drain it. He said they would drain it."
"Maybe it's something else."
"You think? It's a lump. It's not a cyst. I have a lump."
"Well, this lump, it is not fluid filled. It's solid."
"Solid ..."
"It doesn't mean it's malignant. Most lumps are benign."
"Malignant?"
"No, it's most likely benign. You're young. You're healthy. Sometimes people just develop lumps. I would like you to see a surgeon though."
"Oh."
"The surgeon will want a biopsy done before he decides what to do next."
"Next?"
"Well, if it's benign, he will have to decide if it needs to stay or go."
"If it's benign."
"It's most likely benign."
"I asked you both to meet with me because I have to tell you something. I have a lump in my breast and they don't know if it is benign or malignant. I might have to take some time off work for appointments and ... I don't know."
"Take whatever you need."
"Let us know if you need anything."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, ... I'm okay. I think I'm a little scared. I think this is the first time it has really hit me."
"It's scary. My wife had a lump and had to have part of her breast removed, but it's okay. She's okay now."
"If you need to talk, I'm there."
"Okay, thanks."
"Did you know that they can tell 90% of the time whether a lump is benign or malignant in an ultrasound?"
"What does that mean?"
"That means it might be in the 10% of the time they can't tell or ... well, you know ..."
"Oh ... when will you know?"
"I go to the surgeon in two weeks."
"Why have you been avoiding me?"
"What? No ..."
"You haven't talked to me in days."
"Uh, ..."
"You know, you aren't in high school anymore. If you don't want to be with me, just say so."
"Uh , .. well, you know ..."
"I'm so happy to be finally graduating. What's new with you?"
"I have a lump in my breast. They don't know if it's benign or malignant. I have to get a biopsy."
"What?"
"Yeah, not looking too good."
"Jeez, if it can happen to you, it can happen to anyone. You're so healthy."
"First I will talk to you and tell you what is likely to happen. Then I will examine you. With the results I have gotten so far I think the best thing to do is get a biopsy done. This will tell us more about what it is. At this stage we cannot say whether it is benign or malignant but there is a good chance it is still benign."
"Oh."
"Please go into the other room and take off your shirt. You can wear the paper gown, please, open at the front."
...
"Where is the lump?"
"Other breast ..."
"Can you find it first?"
"Okay ... here."
"Hmmm ... okay. You can get dressed. My receptionist will phone you with the biopsy appointment. Please make sure she has the correct phone number and an alternative one."
"Okay. Thank you."
"I have to get a biopsy done. The appointment is in about a month."
"A month! What the hell? Don't they have anything a little sooner? You'd kind of think that this is important."
"No. That's the soonest .. can you go with me? They have to give me an anesthetic and I'm not supposed to drive after ... I guess that means bikes too."
"Of course .. well, we'll see. I can or my sister will. One of us for sure."
"Okay thanks."
(really loud yelling meaning I'm really tired of you walking around the house ignoring my yelling at you which turns into ...)
"It's only cancer! Get over it!"
"Thank you for coming to take me to my appointment. I'll just go brush my teeth. I'll be right down."
"You must be her friend ..."
(gagging upstairs)
"I'll be so glad when she's gone. It will be such a relief."
"Uh ..."
"Thanks for waiting. I'm ready to go."
"Uh, .. your roommate is kind of a bitch."
"Hi. I have an appointment for a biopsy at 2:00"
"Your name and care card."
"Here."
...
"You're not scheduled."
"What? Yes I am. July 4 at 2:00"
"No. I don't have you down."
"There must be some mistake ..."
"Oh I see, your appointment was on July 2 at 4:00."
"No."
"Yes. I have it here."
"Oh crap. I'm sorry. Do you have anything else available?"
"No. We are solidly booked."
"What about cancellations?"
"Nope. Besides, we are running a bit behind today so I can't fit you in."
"When is your next available appointment?"
"July 27, 2:30"
"Oh ..."
"Nothing sooner, not even if someone cancels?"
"No, we don't have a waiting list."
"Okay, I'll take that spot. I'm sorry I missed my last one."
"Do you need an appointment card?"
"It's okay ..."
"No, it's not okay. How fucking stupid of me. I'm such an idiot! Thanks for the ride though."
"It was just a mistake."
"But about something like this! I want to know. This is draggin out so long. I don't know what to do. If I just knew one way or the other ... isn't that your car with the tow truck there?"
"Shit!"
"It was nice talking to you. We haven't talked in so long."
"I know ..."
"Well, .."
"I have something to tell you."
"What?"
"I, uh, ... I ... have a lump."
"You do? Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"I was working up to it."
"Have you been to a doctor?"
"Yes."
"Did you really?"
"Yes I did. He thought it was a cyst but the ultrasound lady didn't drain it and freaked out."
"Are you getting a biopsy done?"
"Yeah, I went to a surgeon and he scheduled me for one and I missed the appointment ..."
"What?"
"It was an accident ... not on purpose, I'm re-scheduled .."
"I'll get you an appointment at my clinic for another ultrasound. We have better technicians and equipment. You might not need the biopsy."
"Okay. Thanks."
"Let's have a look then ..."
20 minutes.
"I want to move you to a different machine with better resolution ..."
20 minutes.
"Just wait, I want to get the radiologist in here to look at it ..."
20 minutes
"It has a characteristic shape. You need to get a biopsy done."
"... I'm holding on the 10% chance it is still benign, but the last ultrasound scared the hell out of me ..."
"I'm here for a biopsy appointment."
"Great. Go sit over there and we'll call you when we're ready. Get your gown on open at the front."
...
"Okay, I'm going to anethesize the area so you'll feel the needle going in."
Needle. Scraping. Squelching. Rubbing. Probing. Pain. Noise. Sucking. Invasion.
"You can go get dressed. Don't drive yourself home."
"I went for the biopsy."
"And ..."
"Why didn't you tell me how awful it was going to be!"
"I know. I'm sorry. But I knew you wouldn't go if I told you."
"I find out in 3 days. I have to decide if I'm going to quit my job or go back to school. If I'm going back to school the last day I can give my notice is in 4 days."
"What are you going to do?"
"Depends on what I find out from the surgeon. If I need the medical coverage I guess I won't go back to school."
"I've got the biopsy report."
"You do?"
"It says ..."
"What does that mean?"
"It's iffy. I'd wait to hear what the surgeon haas to say. When is your appointment?"
"Tomorrow."
"I'll fax this to you. Do you have a confidential fax number at your office?"
"Yes ..."
"I had to phone the pathologist to get him to explain these results. On the report it says there are a quantity of atypical cells, so I wanted to make sure."
"Oh ..."
"He said it is most typically fibroid adenoma. It is normal to have some cells showing degenerative change."
"Okay ...."
"This is good. You don't need to have the lump exised. You should keep an eye on it though."
"Oh my God. Good. Thank you."
"I have good news. I don't have cancer. I do have my written resignation though. I am quitting to go back to school."
posted by Muss at 1:27 pm
5 Comments:
That was frightening...
had a biopsy once. i was fucking scared.
I had to fight myself from skipping to the end.
I'm glad it was a non-unhappy end.
So am I. I have fibroadenomas, I always have had them. I have to ask the doc to check them because all I feel is lumps in all the wrong places. It's scary and you described it well. I'm glad the ending was what it was! Well Written!
Thank you. That was a very scary couple of months in my life. I am glad it had a non-unhappy ending too.
Biopsies suck.
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