Dead
Twice I have taken a diving course. Twice I have passed. Twice I have been told I am an excellent diver. I have my open water and advanced open water. I have never dived except for these courses.
Taking these courses seemed like a good idea. I was travelling in Thailand with a friend and he was really into diving after we had gone snorkelling one time. He could not swim and didn't have the confidence to do this on his own. At this point I thought it would be fun and an interesting new experience after an effed up round about way we ended up at Koh Pha Ngan, which was not Koh Samet which is where we signed up and paid for but what the hell. Away we went.
The first day was theory, video watching, and reading. We did that. Nothing too bad until that night in bed.
Lying there, almost asleep, just about at that point where you are over the edge when suddenly I realize I am deep under the water and losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen. I come completely awake, sitting up and gasping for air. I calm down, lie down, and relax. I almost fall asleep again when there I am again, gently drifting away deep under the water, losing sonsciousness due to oxygen deprivation. Startled wide awake again. This goes on all night long. I do not sleep without this image coming into my head and jolting me awake.
The next day we started the practical course. We were out in the ocean and not to far down, working on bouyancy. I was having a bit of a hard time with my buoyancy as I kept kind of hyperventilating. The instructor grabbed me and I looked up. I realized that there were a couple tonnes of water above my head and I was relying on a man-made device to breath. I wanted up. I wanted out. The instructor ended up taking me to shore where I was bashed against the rocks and he yelled at the other divers. He then turned to me and yelled at me, "Can you DO THIS OR NOT!" What could I say? I had to meekly say yes and I got through that dive. I mastered that course, but never fully enjoyed the diving experience.
We then travelled into Malaysia and back into Thailand for passport purposes. We arrived back and signed up for the advanced open water diving course. We got to pick different courses to take. I don't remember what courses we chose except the navigating course (which I got us lost on) and the night dive.
The night dive was really hyped up. It was supposedly incredible the sea life you saw at night, with the colours using a flashlight and whatnot. I made it to the bottom of where we were supposed to meet and start before I totally lost it. It was dark, it was deep. I could breath on this man-made device but it didn't matter. I had no control over my buoyancy and it was exactly like I had started to dream death would be. The only way I could retain any control over myself was to hold onto the leg of my partner and shine my flashlight onto the sand, showing I wasn't sinking down to die. The time I was under there lasted forever. I eventually got hauled up to the surface by a master diver and little fishes bit me all over on the way up.
I have an overwhelming fear of being underwater in the dark now. Darkness under the water is like death.
Taking these courses seemed like a good idea. I was travelling in Thailand with a friend and he was really into diving after we had gone snorkelling one time. He could not swim and didn't have the confidence to do this on his own. At this point I thought it would be fun and an interesting new experience after an effed up round about way we ended up at Koh Pha Ngan, which was not Koh Samet which is where we signed up and paid for but what the hell. Away we went.
The first day was theory, video watching, and reading. We did that. Nothing too bad until that night in bed.
Lying there, almost asleep, just about at that point where you are over the edge when suddenly I realize I am deep under the water and losing consciousness due to lack of oxygen. I come completely awake, sitting up and gasping for air. I calm down, lie down, and relax. I almost fall asleep again when there I am again, gently drifting away deep under the water, losing sonsciousness due to oxygen deprivation. Startled wide awake again. This goes on all night long. I do not sleep without this image coming into my head and jolting me awake.
The next day we started the practical course. We were out in the ocean and not to far down, working on bouyancy. I was having a bit of a hard time with my buoyancy as I kept kind of hyperventilating. The instructor grabbed me and I looked up. I realized that there were a couple tonnes of water above my head and I was relying on a man-made device to breath. I wanted up. I wanted out. The instructor ended up taking me to shore where I was bashed against the rocks and he yelled at the other divers. He then turned to me and yelled at me, "Can you DO THIS OR NOT!" What could I say? I had to meekly say yes and I got through that dive. I mastered that course, but never fully enjoyed the diving experience.
We then travelled into Malaysia and back into Thailand for passport purposes. We arrived back and signed up for the advanced open water diving course. We got to pick different courses to take. I don't remember what courses we chose except the navigating course (which I got us lost on) and the night dive.
The night dive was really hyped up. It was supposedly incredible the sea life you saw at night, with the colours using a flashlight and whatnot. I made it to the bottom of where we were supposed to meet and start before I totally lost it. It was dark, it was deep. I could breath on this man-made device but it didn't matter. I had no control over my buoyancy and it was exactly like I had started to dream death would be. The only way I could retain any control over myself was to hold onto the leg of my partner and shine my flashlight onto the sand, showing I wasn't sinking down to die. The time I was under there lasted forever. I eventually got hauled up to the surface by a master diver and little fishes bit me all over on the way up.
I have an overwhelming fear of being underwater in the dark now. Darkness under the water is like death.
posted by Muss at 9:36 pm
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