Discouraged
Well, I never thought it would happen, but I found a job that makes me want to stay in teaching. When I did my degree, my B.Ed, I thought it was a short term thing, only until I decided what next to do with my life and would last a maximum of 5 years. I found this job in the most unlikely place. I didn't apply for this job, my resume got handed to the right person and they contacted me. I felt a little less than ambivalent about the job, I didn't think I wanted it, but I got it.
I was a Resource teacher at a youth jail.
Holy mother of God. That means I was in charge of all IEP's (individual education plans) for anyone who needed one. I was also in charge of personally assessing and teaching anyone under a grade 7 level in math or english and designing and implementing a program that would work for them, even when I wasn't there, as I was only half time. I had to work with children (I refuse to call them anything but, as they are so stunted) who are severely emotionally and behaviourally challenged. I had to work with youth coming off addictions. I had to work with youth who had every single thing in their life stacked against them and make them think learning was somehow valuable to them.
Guess what?
It worked. I found my niche. I am not saying that I wasn't good anywhere else or I wouldn't be good somewhere else. But I am saying that I am good at this and can do it. It doesn't run me down and I am able to give myself to these kids.
How do I know I work? In two cases I have seen profound changes. One student was so changed, so completely a different person that every single person in the centre noticed and commented on it to me. I kept saying it was the new medication, but later on, there was proof that it was more than this. The other is a young guy so damaged by females that he would spit on us rather than talk to us. He is coming around. He is asking to work with me, he is showing off the work he does to me and bragging about it. I don't even care about that, although it is a nice side benefit, him learning to read above a grade 2 level. I care that he is able to see me as a person. Not me specifically, I don't want him to get hung up on that, but a female. And that he feels successful, in one aspect of his life.
Everyone, as far as I know, likes what I do and believes I can do this well.
But, it looks like I won't be returning next year. Union and all, I am to be replaced with someone who doesn't even want to be up there and as long as the centre thinks she won't be damaging or afraid, she has it.
I believe in the work that unions have done, have created the middle class, have made ... on and on. I don't want to go into now. But this is one of several times in my life when I know I am good for a job and someone else gets it because of union regulations. Someone who isn't as good at it as me.
What happens to the kid who has just set up his safety net a little bit away from his skin to let me in and help him? Does he go slamming back? I hope not. Why doesn't the union think about that?
I was a Resource teacher at a youth jail.
Holy mother of God. That means I was in charge of all IEP's (individual education plans) for anyone who needed one. I was also in charge of personally assessing and teaching anyone under a grade 7 level in math or english and designing and implementing a program that would work for them, even when I wasn't there, as I was only half time. I had to work with children (I refuse to call them anything but, as they are so stunted) who are severely emotionally and behaviourally challenged. I had to work with youth coming off addictions. I had to work with youth who had every single thing in their life stacked against them and make them think learning was somehow valuable to them.
Guess what?
It worked. I found my niche. I am not saying that I wasn't good anywhere else or I wouldn't be good somewhere else. But I am saying that I am good at this and can do it. It doesn't run me down and I am able to give myself to these kids.
How do I know I work? In two cases I have seen profound changes. One student was so changed, so completely a different person that every single person in the centre noticed and commented on it to me. I kept saying it was the new medication, but later on, there was proof that it was more than this. The other is a young guy so damaged by females that he would spit on us rather than talk to us. He is coming around. He is asking to work with me, he is showing off the work he does to me and bragging about it. I don't even care about that, although it is a nice side benefit, him learning to read above a grade 2 level. I care that he is able to see me as a person. Not me specifically, I don't want him to get hung up on that, but a female. And that he feels successful, in one aspect of his life.
Everyone, as far as I know, likes what I do and believes I can do this well.
But, it looks like I won't be returning next year. Union and all, I am to be replaced with someone who doesn't even want to be up there and as long as the centre thinks she won't be damaging or afraid, she has it.
I believe in the work that unions have done, have created the middle class, have made ... on and on. I don't want to go into now. But this is one of several times in my life when I know I am good for a job and someone else gets it because of union regulations. Someone who isn't as good at it as me.
What happens to the kid who has just set up his safety net a little bit away from his skin to let me in and help him? Does he go slamming back? I hope not. Why doesn't the union think about that?
posted by Muss at 6:52 pm
8 Comments:
That is awesome that you are doing so well, enjoying your work and that your students are experiencing success - it is terrible that someone is replacing you. Especially after having established the realtionships with students and doing all the IEPs and such. Any chance the 'new' person won't show and you get to stay on? Or if that person quits, for example, are you next on 'the list'?
Congratulations on the reward your work has given you. You've always deserved to feel good about the work you do. The ability to create relationships with students is a rare and beautiful gift. If no one else can see past red tape in order to get you where you should be, remember its only red tape. These days, I agree that unions are little more than added bureaucracy. Their usefulness as advocates for worker rights is limited in the face of government regulation, internal politics and by the recent (past twenty years or so) exclusion of the next generation of workers and leaders. That's us. Too many people getting ready to retire and not enough of us to take care of them. Take heart. You've helped people... really helped them in meaningful ways that most people never get to experience. It's one of the reasons we're here. To give to others. You're a peach.
Cheers
*huge big sad face*
what indeed?
this makes no sense.
would it be possible to set up something where you visit voluntarily once a week just to keep some kind of connection going!? for the sake of those who've just begun to unfurl their wings.
Thanks you guys! Unfortunately, because of all my other obligations (my store, the other job I would have to get, and the little bit of life I get to have) makes it impossible for me to volunteer anywhere.
I am still hoping. I will keep you posted. I just applied for 15 different jobs today.
good luck!! something will come. one door closing and all that...
Thanks! I had two job interviews today for jobs I don't think I want ...
durn. you'll probably get them then ;)
And I did!
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