Old Eyes

I went to the optometrist today and guess what? Even though I have a youthful and vibrant body and mind, I have the eyes of a 40 year old and they are deteriorating. Nice. Soon I will need glasses.

Also, something I found out, my brother has 3-somes (or even multiples) all the time. Weird. In my mother's house. I kind of knew about it from a few Christmases ago when he had a few girls down there and they were all sleeping in his bed, but I thought, because I am his big sister after all, that maybe it was just a sleepover. Apparently not and it still carries on. Where does he find all these multitudinous women?

I went to physio yesterday and they stuck me in a corner where no one could see my panties, even if they had tried.

Flagrant

Today, just because I could, I wore yellow panties with monkeys, bananas, and sparkles on them. Why would I wear such cute things when there is no one to share them with in the cold north? More physiotherapy! I am so hard up to show off my ass clad in cuteness that I now plan to wear cute panties to my physiotherapy sessions just in case there is some old man that can happen to see them.

I was just reading panties and saw their latest submission of guest panties. H0w cute with the hello kitty! I am also impressed with the huge cheeseburger that they ate. I don't really know if impressed is the right word.

I have developed a really really bad case of razor rash and ingrown hairs (oh how nice in time for the summer short weather) so besides not having anyone available to take the pictures, I don't think now is a good time. Anyone have any good remedies for razor rash (I don't think there is anything that I despise more than shaving my legs) and ingrown hairs? I have probably tried it already, but there is no harm in trying again. I need some new ideas on this anyway.

The Rain

Today, as it was raining, I was unable to do much in the way of yard work. Instead I worked on getting my baggage that I carry around with me under control. For someone who can furnish a whole house, I really don't have that much stuff, but I want less.

The rule of if you haven't used it for a year then you don't need it doesn't work for me since for the last two years the places I went to have been fully furnished, equipped, and up to date. So even though I haven't used my dishes in two years, I still need them.

But, some things I do not need are:

• purple bowling shoes with a 1.5 inch clear platform block heel (but what a conversation piece they are!)
• pages of BAD writing from younger years
• a beautiful multi-coloured coat with a gorgeous lining that simply doesn't fit me and never did
• 24 Christmas crackers

I also ran into some stuff that I probably shouldn't keep, that breaks my heart to see it, read it, or think about it, but because it brings this out in me, I cannot get rid of it.

X-Ray

Today I had to go in and get X-rays done (you know, for the crippling hip disability I seem to have acquired through a motor vehicle incident about 2 years ago), you know, to see if anything could be seen as to why I can't walk on uneven ground, put my legs in all the fun places, or do simple tasks, such as bending over sometimes.
The technician asked if there was any chance that I was pregnant and I got really flustered had to think think about it. And I talked through the think think about it with the clinician, who looked at me oddly, until I said, "but I just got my period so no."
Never mind the fact that THERE IS NO PHYSICAL WAY I AM. What the hell? Did my brain suddenly think I just might have gotten some sperm somehow and without knowing, because I wouldn't have known the sperm was there, impregnate myself?
All my best posts come to me while I am drifting off to sleep at night, and I always think I will post them the next day. Of course, I never remember them. Or even the subject of them it seems.

UPDATE: Note to self, wear something that doesn't require you to wear a thong on days of physio-therapy because no matter how cute they are, it isn't cute to have your ass hanging out of a hospital wrap, doing exercises and exposing your behind to old men trying to regain movement in their shoulders.

Glasses

Would a certain someone in the lower mainland please, if they go to Ikea before heading up North, please buy me 5 more of those blue glasses (I have already broken one, but I like them).

7 Pounds

Where did you come from?

I am so happy to see you too. There, around my chest, so my ribs aren't so visible andymore, and there on my cheeks that aren't so gaunt anymore, and there on my behind so it isn't so uncomfortable to sit on hard surfaces, and there on my waist in the little layer of pudge.

Why did you leave me, over the past 3 years, slowly and quickly falling away, from 117 to 113 to 105 and probably lower too, but I was too chicken to stand on the scale and check?

How did you get here, after so many months of trying trying to put you on and then just suddenly and quickly appearing?

Another dollar

Last week I drove to work recklessly: fast, and not really paying too much attention. When I got there I sat down at my computer and saw a blue box at the bottom of the screen from Fist, a guy I have never met in person, but nonetheless, the reason my hands were shaking.

A simple message, "I'm okay." or whatever it was and the relief was so great. We talked at length that day about the senseless violence. I admitted that I had never seen any images from 9/11.

Now I have.

I've seen the plane crash into the towers. I've seen pictures of people running with calm looks on their faces, covered in dust/ash, the only colour the blood from their wounds. I've seen people watch in horror as the pentagon was hit too. I saw people plummit head first to their certain death and the buildings collapsed. Years later, and I have finally seen it.

I am an observant person. I am quite intuitive about what people are feeling. I take alot into myself. I don't think I could have dealt with that then. It is hard for me to deal with now.

And now there is more in the UK. But the thing is, I hear reports of suicide bombings almost weekly on the news, happening in other countries. Mass killings, genocides, starvations deaths ... but I don't feel as much for those ones as I feel for this one. Is it because Fist has brought me a more personal view, brought me into more personally, as I worried about his safety and he told me about his aquaintances (all okay, according to him, last we spoke), or it because I am just as racist underneath it all?

Does that ever hurt to say.

I have avoided the pictures again. I can't bear to see. I can't watch the church services on TV. I can't bear the think about the violence of retribution that this can bring about.

How fragile I feel, clustered in my surburban home, far away from mass acts of senseless violence.