Gosh!

Here I thought I was just tired and getting worn out, but no! It turns out I have pneumonia. And my kidney is failing again. Stupid kidney. And haemorraghing. Don't worry though! Besides feeling a bit tired, I am fine. Nothing life threatening.

Actually I am trying to plan a little camping trip (because when you can't breath well and your kidney is bleeding you really need to get far away from medical services). A three day weekday trip with my dogs. Not my cats, as one is in the vet right now after almost dying himself and the other one, well, I took him camping once and that was enough. They are both good on harnesses and leashes, but still. I just want to go with me and my dogs. I can't even say me and my girls since one of my dogs is a boy.

Something happened at my ideal job that wasn't so pleasant either. I may be okay with getting away from it after all. Even with wearing a uniform. Okay. No still to the uniform.

Camping, something that could be okay. I don't really like sleeping outside because I get cold so easily, but I thought this would be the only kind of vacation where I would just sit there. If I took days off and stayed home I would just find things to do, as I have so many. If I went somewhere to visit friends, I would visit friends and go all over the place, which would be good, but I just want to sit around. If I camp I can just sit there and look at the water. And eat. And play with my dogs. And those are the things I want to do the most.

Bound

I have so many things to say. Poetic or funny. Bitter and sweet. Why won't they come out of my fingers and onto the page? I don't know. Perhaps I am saving up for something.

First Week

Ever, that I have managed to avoid all plastic bags and bring my own, or just refuse it. I even got them to take the cheese I bought out of the bag and give it to me.

"No, I don't want the bag for the cheese. Please don't put my cheese in a bag."

followed by,

"Take the cheese out of the bag. I don't want that bag."

Go me.

Holiday Done

Every night, before I go through my long involved ritual of praising the sleep angels and hoping for sand in my eyes, or whatever it is they do, I think of the perfect thing to write. Funny, insightful, all that.

Of course, during the night of tossing and turning, it goes.

I am just happy that for some reason I don't have a lack of sleep headache today.

Quick run-down of how I get ready for bed:
1. At 8:00 pm (yes, it starts at 8!!! It takes a while) I put away whatever it is I am doing and stop everything.
2. I drink some water, fill my water glass with hot water and take my dogs outside. I wait for them to pee, give them a treat and then leave them to go back inside.
3. I brush my teeth and do any night time grooming I think I need.
4. The dogs are yippy by this time, thinking I am going to go to bed without them (WITHOUT THEM dear god), so I let them in.
5. 8:30 pm, I put on my pj's and put the dogs in their crates and shut their doors (because the clicking of their damn toenails on the floor could easily keep someone with sleeping problems awake allllllllllllllll night).
6. I put hand lotion on, and if I am feeling particularly worthy, cuticle cream.
7. I pick up a book and read a few chapters.
8. At 9:15 to 9:30 (I need to read that much. If I don't read a few chapters to clear my head and put me in the right go to bed state, it just doesn't work, which is part of the reason I start to go to bed at 8) I pull the CD player closer, select one of two CD's, put it in and turn it on just so I can hear it without it revertebrating in my ears. I then grab my night time shut out the light thing and put it on.
9. I re-start the CD, and lay down.
10. I start counting my breathing, 3 counts in, 4 counts out.
11. If it is one CD, I relax parts as it tells me, if it is the other, I breath along with the music.
12. I try to focus on my lungs and trying to clear out whatever it is in them that makes me feel like I am drowning sometimes.
13. I start to fall asleep.
14. I twitch, my throat gets itchy, I wake up and drink water (now room temperature), re-start CD, and try again.
15. I fall asleep.
16. 1:00 I wake up, turn over, try to fall back asleep or get up and use the washroom, drink more water and try to fall back to sleep.
17. I re-start CD.
18. I wake up at about 4 to 4:30, it is starting to get light. I retrieve my light keeping out thing put it on and re-start the CD.
19. My alarm rings and I get up.

Okay, well, how boring was that. I can't believe you read it. And, that is a smooth night anyway. It usually goes much worse than that.