April 06, 2006

Back

I realize I am a bit of a control freak. When I leave I like things to stay exactly as I have them. After all, I worked very hard to get things my way (you know, instead of the student's way) and maintain order and get things done. I find my way is the best way for me to do this. So, it is preferrable for me, I think, to have them cancel school if I ever have to be away.

I do not want the substitute teacher to try and implement their new order. There will never be enough time. I am ever only away for a few days, 1 usually, if that. I want them to implement my order, or the best that they can.

Little students like the order and will often yell out, "That's not the way we do it!" if it isn't the way I do it. If you deviate from my routine they sometimes say, "That isn't the way that does it!" and even sometimes, "I hate this. I hate you. You aren't my teacher!"

So, with an 11 page plan of exactly how to implement my order and a classroom full of students who want the order, will follow the order even if there is no one there to impose it, it is hard to believe that the order was not followed without willfully trying to change it.

So here I am on my day off trying to re-establish the actual physical order of my classroom and then deal with all the things that happened (or should I say more specifically didn't happen) when I wasn't here. Re-plan the last months of school because I missed 3 days (for a good cause, to be transformed into Radioactive Girrl) and nothing was done. Not only was nothing done, things in here have gone backwards. I heard that one student hit another student with a chair. A chair. A 5 year old became so frustrated that he felt the only way to relieve his frustration was to pick up a large object and pummel another student with it. This level of frustration is NEVER felt in my classroom. It is headed off. Students may occassionally harm another student but never with a weapon. I am observant (and 5 year olds aren't usually that subtle when they are that mad) and would stop if. If it was impossible to stop I would move all other students away from that student. If that was impossible, I would get hit with the weapon first.

Now I see why the attendance went down as the week went on. Parents did not want their students in the chaotic classroom. One mother came to tell me never to go away again and she was going to pull her kid from school if I did.

I have also heard from people walking by that it was awful. That the TA really really tried hard to pull everything together for when I returned. I would have liked her to leave it though because I would have freaked out and written a big report on why teacher who filled in for me in incompetent. Instead, all I could say is why are all their writing assignments done in perfect grammar and spelling? They are in grade 1? I thought I left specific instructions NOT TO DO THEIR WORK FOR THEM. Because I knew I had to leave these instructions, sad isn't it.

April 04, 2006

Radioactive Girrl

Today I got injected with radioactive dye. I am now Radioactive Girrl and I am enjoying all the super powers that have come to me, with this radioactive dye injection, such as lying still for a long time as a machine revolves around me WITHOUT COUGHING! Also, being able to see my bladder slowly fill up in timed photography pictures as my body tried to rid itself of the radioactive dye. What other powers did I get? I don't know yet, I haven't really tried to do anything super. I know I have received unlimited PATIENCE as I didn't push my grocery cart into this women who kept stopping in the middle of the aisle in the grocery store to talk in detail about random things on the shelves or occurences in her life to this women who looked to be a lot like her mother. Tomorrow is another day though and we will have to wait and see what new powers I become aware of after being injected with radioactive dye.

(I wonder if the patience will carry over to mormons, because then it truly would be a super power of the ultimate capability.)

April 03, 2006

Begotten

I swear, my body believes I am pregnant. (I am not. I am not a candidate for the immaculate conception, what with the whoring and hatred of mormons and all although I do rescue a lot of stray animals and that may count in my favour. Especially if mormonism is just not the way to go).

I brought 3 new bra's 2 weeks ago. All too small now.

I pee 3 times an hour. Tiny little pees, but they call me like an ocean is waiting at the brink.

I crave chocolate and cheeseburgers. Usually, I like chocolate, and can handle a piece of it every now and again. Now it's 7 pieces all at one time. And cheeseburgers? What about that? What nutrition can you get out of a cheeseburger with all that fat that you can't get out of something else?

And the tired. Oh the tired.

. . .